GIVE AND TAKE

It always fascinates me how this game of life so often engages in confluence. I received a message not long ago that a wonderful woman and mother of four had passed away after a long illness. It surprised me because I wasn't aware of her condition. I wish I could say we were close friends, but that wasn't the case. Her oldest son had been a basketball player during my time as a publicity director for a local university. Through him I eventually met mom, dad, and the three additional siblings. The family was/is remarkable, although I'm sure battered emotionally. Around the time of her passing, a friend, colleague, and former student was on the verge of giving birth to her first child (a beautiful baby boy who arrived within the past two weeks). I began to think (always dangerous) about the life cycle we all share from the euphoric to the funereal. These two women epitomize all the good things in that precious cycle.

The true test for any person inevitably becomes the reaction to adversity. Both individuals passed those exams. The older woman arrived here from Europe with a positive attitude and a future husband awaiting her arrival. She became the rock of the family while her husband built a successful business from the first shovel of dirt, working 12-15 hour days, seven days a week. All seemed smooth until her oldest son died in a tragic plane crash while en route from the Midwest with his fiancee. He had been a superb athlete, just finishing his second year as a future NBA star. His death completely devastated all who knew him, but his family above all. As the years rolled on, the strength of the family became obvious, with her as the inspiration.

My colleague and former student suffered through a similar situation with a close high school friend, not to mention the passing of several close relatives. Through it all she has remained the same hard-working, positive individual I first met when she was a ninth grader. In all the years I've known her, I can't ever remember seeing her upset, angry, or abrupt. As a teacher she was (is) patient, creative, and insightful. Whenever I walked by her room, I saw happy, engaged students.

It's sad to see friends depart, especially one so important to her loved ones. But life has strange compensations. By my count there are at least five grandchildren to help ease the transition. On the other side, I received an e-mail after the recent birth. The incredible smiles on the faces of mom and dad began the cycle once again.

Give and Take.

MM